Day 4: Love is Thoughtful

Edited to add: I was able to run an errand and take care of some financial business that Jay had mentioned he'd like for me to handle since his schedule has been so crazy.


"Contact your spouse sometime during the business of the day. Have no agenda other than asking how he or she is doing and if there is anything you could do for them."


Jay and I are usually in contact throughout the day, even if it is a text to say "I love you" or a quick call to see how the day is going so this particular dare doesn't seem like a stretch. I guess the challenge could be the "asking if there is anything you could do for them." It just occurred to me that we sometimes ask, "How are you?" merely as a part of our greeting, "Hi, how are you?" rather than really wanting to know. I guess the same principle could apply to today's dare. Asking if you can do anything, hoping they'll say no OR asking if there is anything you can do to help them and really hoping there is an errand you can run or a burden you can carry for them to ease their day.


Today's reading focused mostly on how men and women think differently. For example, men can "focus like a laser on one thing and forget the rest of the world. Whereas this can benefit him in that one area, it can make him overlook other things that need his attention."


"And a woman, on the other hand, is more multi-conscious, able to maintain an amazing awareness of many factors at once. She can talk on the phone, cook, know where the kids are in the house, and wonder why her husband isn't helping... all simultaneously."


Yeah, been there. :)


"Both of these tendencies are examples of how God designed women to complete their men. As God said at creation, 'It is not good for man to be alone; I will make him a helper suitable for him...'"


I can see on a daily basis how this works and proves true. Jay's strengths are not my strengths, and my weaknesses are not his weaknesses. But together we make a good team.


In looking for issues to work on, rather than just finding this interesting reading, I was most drawn to this portion:

"Men tend to think in headlines and say exactly what they mean. Not much is needed to understand the message. His words are more literal and shouldn't be over-analyzed. But women think and speak between the lines. They tend to hint. A man often has to listen for what is implied if he wants to get the full meaning."


I am guilty of this at times because I think that Jay should know how I feel and understand what I mean without my having to spell it out for him. This really isn't fair because he's many things, but psychic is not one of them. Communication (spoken and non-verbal) has to be honest, and above all, considerate.


"Love requires thoughtfulness – on both sides – the kind that builds bridges through the constructive combination of patience, kindness and selflessness. Love teaches you to meet in the middle, to respect and appreciate how your spouse uniquely thinks."


Dear God, thank you for Jay, for the way he loves me and our family and for his tenacious spirit in providing for our needs. Help me to love thoughtfully and with purpose, always looking out for the needs of others. Let my words and actions be a tender mix of truth and kindness. By the way, thanks for unsticking Dave's truck.