"Talk with your spouse about establishing healthy rules of engagement. If your mate is not ready for this, then write out your own personal rules to "fight" by. Resolve to abide by them when the next agreement occurs."
Today is Valentine's Day so I'm hoping there won't be a need to fight fair. Jay and I have boundaries that we abide by. Mostly unspoken – I'm not even sure we have discussed these things. If we have, it was early on in our marriage and I have forgotten. They have just become a part of "how we roll."
For example:
We never, ever, mention divorce.
We don't bring up junk from the past.
We don't "fight" in front of the kids.
We will never hit each other. Ever.
Married couples will disagree. They will probably argue at some point. It's life. I just don't want my words to disrespect or be used in a way that dishonors God or my spouse.
"Fighting fair means changing your weapons. Disagreeing with dignity. It should result in building a bridge instead of burning one down. Remember, love is not a fight, but it is always worth fighting for."
Dear God, teach me to speak words that are tender, even when the circumstance are tough. In Jesus' name, Amen.
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Waiting on a follow-up of this :-)
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